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Keeping Monday Marvelous

30 Sep

In all honesty, I haven’t been in the mood to blog.  This has been the last thing on my mind and even when it did come to mind, I lost all desire or incentive to sit down and actually start writing something.  Frankly, I’m kind of forcing these words right now, but I usually really enjoy it when life is going good for me, so I want to try and focus on doing things that I enjoy, now more than ever.  So, in honor of that, I’m sitting here and typing, and hooking up for one of my favorites, with Katie, to focus on the Marvelous in My Monday.  A big thank you for making this positive link-up possible!

Where to begin?  Well I’ll be short and sweet about how rough the last week or so has been for me.  On September 20th, my husband told me that he didn’t want to be married to me anymore and that divorce was the best route to take.  Granted, our marriage has been rocky since day one, sadly.  Between my personal issues, his personal issues, and our inability to really work well as a couple, we had rough moments right from the beginning.  We took some time to figure ourselves out; working on our individual demons that prevented us from really being able to focus on our relationship with one another.  I came back with a new sense of desire to make our relationship work and he…well, he didn’t.  Simply put, he just didn’t think we’d ever have the type of relationship that a married couple should.  So accepting the reality of that decision, the reality that divorce is in my future, was a really hard pill to swallow.  Truthfully, I don’t think I’ve really fully processed it yet.  I mean I accept that it’s happening, but just all of the steps moving forward will be so much to tackle.  But I’ll get there, in time.  That can all be figured out in time.  I am extremely thankful that we are not going to proceed with a messy divorce, though.  I’ve heard horror stories about divorce and that is not how we want things to go down.  We want to be as amicable as possible and end things as easily on ourselves and one another as possible.  Which I am really thankful for. 

quotes like this have been so marvelously helpful

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To top that off, a few days ago I came home at night to a facebook message from my best friend, Rachel, which basically bluntly stated that we could not be friends anymore.  In part she said how her health is suffering and she needs to put herself first.  She indicated she couldn’t take care of herself and be there for me, since she needs to focus on her recovery (we met in treatment for our eating disorders) and said that we shouldn’t speak anymore.  In a matter of a week, I lost the two closest people I have in my life.

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Needless to say, life has been pretty downright rough for me lately.  But I’ve been fortunate to have some people in my life who care so much about me and have been offering me help and support.  My parents have been so marvelous to me.  I think I have spent sometime with them every day in the past week.  Each evening, I’ve gone over there after work, and this weekend I spent time with them each day.  They have been so amazing to me, truly just offering me the ability to talk to them or share anything with them that may be on my mind, or just being there to watch TV with them without talking at all, when words just fail me.  I have been so appreciative of them.

We spent the afternoon together on Saturday and went to Cedarburg, a cute little town near where we live, for lunch and walking around the shops in town.  The weather was absolutely gorgeous.  It was sunny and around 80 degrees.  You seriously can’t do any better than that for end of September in Wisconsin!  We ate lunch at a place called Cream & Crepe (where, surprise surprise, their specialty are crepes).  My parents got some delicious crepes for lunch and I got a sandwich.  Then we all split their dessert crepe which is on special now, PUMPKIN!  Mmm…it was heavenly!

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I also have an amazing co-worker who has been nothing short of marvelous to me.  He has been so supportive and has just been a real anchor for me at work.  It’s been rough being able to focus and concentrate at work, and sometimes I just need someone to talk to or vent to or just to know what I’m going through, and he is always there for me.  He, like everyone else, wishes they could do for me or help me more.  But just having him there means the world to me.  He truly is like a second father to me.  I really believe he would do anything for me.  This week, twice, he surprised me with two little pick-me-ups.  

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My little booger, i.e. Dexter, has been such a comfort to me lately.  He is my little com-padre.  It’s like he knows I’m going through a hard time right now.  One day I remember just sitting on the floor and crying and he came right over to me, snuggling up next to me, and parked himself right on the floor next to me.  He’s been good to snuggle with at night.  Plus, he’s been good for some laughs, too.  He was super interested and curious about the flowers when I brought them home from work.  First he stopped to smell the flowers (haha, I’m witty, I know) and then he started to devour them…camera went down shortly after, Dexter snatched, and flowers moved to the kitchen counter where he can’t get to.

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My dad was telling me about how this time of year he loves anything caramel and apple flavored.  Since I’ve been trying to keep myself busy (and my mind busy) and since I had some extra time on Saturday, I thought I would try and bake something caramel apple-y.  So when I got back from Cedarburg with my parents, I started searching for a recipe that I could make.  I found a lot of good options, but ended up choosing the Caramel Apple Oatmeal Cookie recipe I found.  I ran to the store to get a few of the ingredients I didn’t have and then started in!

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This recipe was AH-MAZING!  Oh my goodness.  AND they were a big hit!  Later that night, the family was invited over to my brother’s place to watch a movie and I brought my ‘surprise’ over to give more than half the batch to my dad (and obviously shared with my mom, brother, and his wife, too!)  He was so excited!  Everyone loved ’em, too!  I think I found a new go-to cookie recipe.  Mmhmm.  My brother even asked if I could make another batch again this week, haha.

So despite all the chaos in my life right now, I’ve been fortunate enough to have some really fabulous family and friends who have been so supportive and strengthening me.  It doesn’t really make the pain go away, but it does help me to get my mind off of things and serves as a distraction.  I am so thankful to have some people in my world who will always stand by me and never leave me, no matter what challenges and hardships come my way.  Life may not be what I’d like it to be right now, but I’m trying my hardest to keep my chin up.  It’s hard.  Some days and some moments I just feel miserable.  But I will keep pushing forward and doing the best I can to live my life now and to rebuild and repair.

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20 Comments

Posted by on September 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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20 responses to “Keeping Monday Marvelous

  1. paulettemotzko

    September 30, 2013 at 2:30 am

    Hello there,
    I am glad that you decided to write and I decided to search quality content for my readers on Totally Inspired Mind, and found your heartfelt post about the things going on in your life.
    What is your name?
    I know your blog is called “Little Miss FIt”, but what can I call you?
    You can call me Polly Motzko, my nick name.

    I am also going through traumas and have recently lost my dad-a year ago now, and my mom, who used to live next to me and me her for 13 years now lives with my sister due to having Alzheimer’s disease. She will be going into a 24 hour care home soon.

    Sometimes what we think is going to happen, doesn’t happen.

    I was married to a real rocket scientist for 15 years and have been divorced since 2001.

    I am smarter, wiser, more resilient and am a young 52 years now but nobody guesses it.

    Sometimes Life Gives You Shit and you just have to make castles out of it.
    It isn’t the prettiest saying around, but it makes me feel better when I say it and has made others smile when I tell them.

    I wish you the best in your life and hope we can be friends.

    Paulette Le Pore Motzko
    Polly Motzko
    http://www.TotallyInspiredPC@gmail.com

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      September 30, 2013 at 3:05 am

      Thank you so much for your kind, sincere words. They mean more to me than you could know. I’m Elise 🙂 It’s really nice to “meet” you and hear your experience. I’m sorry to hear about your dad and your mom. That saying is not the prettiest, but it is so true. I need to try and focus on the positives, and reshape my life now. I know it will be a struggle, but in time I’ll be okay.

       
      • paulettemotzko

        September 30, 2013 at 3:26 am

        I am Paulette Le Pore Motzko on Face Book. I hope you are on there Elise, then we can keep in touch and send photos etc to one another.

        It is so great to hear from you so quickly & know your name!

        Polly Motzko

         
      • paulettemotzko

        September 30, 2013 at 6:46 am

        Yes you will be OK…more than OK Elise. You are much stronger than you know.

        God bless you.

        Polly Motzko

         
  2. healthfulmindbodyandsoul

    September 30, 2013 at 2:40 am

    My heart goes out to you, but I will say this, when I am going thru, I always say to myself, “This too shall pass, and I will be better and stronger”. I send prayers for the same for you.

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      September 30, 2013 at 3:06 am

      Thank you so much for sharing that thought. It is so true. It’s just another challenge to overcome and will help me to be a stronger person in the long-run. Thank you, thank you!

       
  3. Ksenija @ Health Ninja

    September 30, 2013 at 3:14 am

    Oh, Lovely, I am so sorry for what you go through right now, but I am sure that in the end you two made a good choice. It is so hard to make a relationship work that is not meant to be and though it seems like the end of the world now I am sure it actually is the beginning of a beautiful life full of possibilities for you. Know you are free of “making something work” and being depressed that it doesn’t, free to be happy, free to choose you first and free to someday find someone with whom having a relationship comes naturally and easily. It is also a pretty bad timing to lose a good friend. Guess to make it through an E:D. is the time one needs to be really selfish, as hard as this is on friends and loved ones. I am happy that your parents are such a support and I hope that you find your joy back soon!

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      September 30, 2013 at 3:20 am

      Ksenjia, you are such a doll. I almost teared up reading your words. While it’s hard, really, really hard, I know that we were fighting so hard to make this marriage work and were exhausting ourselves in the process. While it’s not easy to have someone give up on you, it may actually be the best in the long run. I just need to try and focus on moving forward now and focus on my happiness and health now and being the best ‘me’ I can be. Thank you so much for your heart-filled words.

       
  4. jessiebearwhat

    September 30, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    Sorry things have been so rough lately :/. At least that cupcake is LITERALLY THE CUTEST THING EVER. & you always have the support of your fam!

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      September 30, 2013 at 10:58 pm

      Haha I know, isn’t it adorable? It was sitting on my desk when I got back from my lunch break. My co-worker ran out on his lunch break to get it for me. Totally brightened up my day 🙂

       
  5. di @ life of di.

    September 30, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about your marriage. Finding yourself a support network during this time will be invaluable and it sounds as though your parents are just beautiful people who can support and encourage you during this time of trial. I’m sorry we don’t live closer to one another – I would love to be friends, not only through our blogs, but in daily life! Stay strong lady.

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      September 30, 2013 at 11:00 pm

      Thanks, girl. That means so much to me. You are absolutely right; it helps SO much to have people there to support me. It doesn’t take the pain away but at least it makes it more manageable. My parents are literally the best. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

       
  6. Racing Bananas

    September 30, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    I’m so sorry you’re going through a tough time right now. Sending you lots of love, positivity, and strength. So glad to hear that your parents are such a fantastic support system – it sounds like they are fantastic people!

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      September 30, 2013 at 11:02 pm

      Thank you so much, Kim! You are too sweet. You are absolutely right, they are the two most amazing people in my world.

       
  7. Alex @ Cookie Dough Katzen

    September 30, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    Sorry to hear about everything that’s been going on. It’s great that you decided to blog about it though. Hang in there and if nothing else, enjoy the desserts 🙂

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      September 30, 2013 at 11:03 pm

      Thanks girl. It felt actually really good just type and get it all out there. Sort of therapeutic, in a way. Dessert makes everything a little bit better I think. 😉

       
  8. pieceofcaitlin

    October 1, 2013 at 12:59 am

    so so sorry to hear about your week, but your last picture says it all. Keep repeating that to yourself through this time, it’s obviously just not meant to be. so there are better things ahead ❤ "THIS TO SHALL PASS!" on a happy note.. those cookies look so yummy!!!

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      October 1, 2013 at 2:20 am

      Thank you for that quote. You hear it so often but it is so true! I know this just another bump in the road and things will get better in time.

      Sometimes sugar simply is the best answer 🙂

       
  9. princessbunnycakes

    October 1, 2013 at 2:30 am

    Elise, my heart goes out to you, it really does. I think of you as someone self-aware, positive, and strong, and of course I want to see you happy and fulfilled. That said, it’s strong, fighting personalities like yours that I think move on and emerge stronger every time they face a challenge.

    I empathize with you. My relationship is also on the rocks, and it’s CRUSHING. I’m learning that I can’t control others, only myself, and that I need to find opportunities even in things that seem like a disaster.

    “My parents have been so marvelous to me.” This is HUGE. As I know you well know (but maybe need to hear as much as possible), there are people hoping and praying for the blessing of a supportive family. From everything you shared, it sounds like you got supremely lucky in terms of the gene pool in more ways than one, and I think family is an excellent focus in your life right now.

    “It’s been rough being able to focus and concentrate at work.” Tell me about it!

    You definitely have all my support. I continue to be inspired by you and admire you for maintaining eloquence, self-awareness, and gratitude even when life feels far from perfect. I may just shoot you an email if that’s okay?

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      October 1, 2013 at 2:37 am

      I am overwhelmed by your kind and thoughtful words. I don’t even know how to thank you enough for everything you just said. I know I have to continue to push forward and be stronger now more than ever. I can’t rely nor depend on having that “other person” there for me anymore, so now I need to learn to be independent and able to be my own person.

      I know this is going to be a challenge for me and will no doubt be a struggle for quite a while, but I need to keep focused on moving forward now and finding my own happiness and coming to a sense of peace.

      I would love it if you’d email me. My email is elise_faust@yahoo.com. Anytime, email away. I’d love to hear from you. Thank you again for all of the positive words.

       

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