My parents had been talking about a movie they both watched together a couple weeks ago. It was just by coincidence that they happened to see it, but it was scary just how applicable and timely it was to what was going on in my world. They had told me that I should suggest watching it with Scott, but I thought it was stupid since Scott had already made his mind up about us and wanted to proceed with the divorce. Well after things went down as they did on Sunday, they brought up the idea of watching the movie again to me. This time, I jumped at the opportunity. I was willing to do anything and everything now…
They told me that the movie was very fitting for the two of us and we could glean a lot of information from it if we truly watched it and let it sink in, and maybe it would even open up the way for some open discussion between the two of us.
Scott was completely on board. So Wednesday night, we settled in at the apartment and watched the movie together. All I can say is WOW. I don’t know if I’ve ever watched a movie that effected me in that way before. I saw Scott and myself in the couple portrayed in the movie. There were so many similarities and parallels, it was truly amazing. The movie made me think about things in a way that I never thought of before. It had a Christian-angle, gearing a couple to considering the importance of allowing God in. But it taught me so many valuable lessons on what being married is really about and what it really takes to be happy and to make a marriage a success. I would truly recommend this movie for any couple, whether you’re dating, engaged, newlyweds, or have been married for years.
Taken from imdb.com, “In Albany, the marriage of Caleb end Catherine Holt is in crisis and they decide to divorce. However, Caleb’s father, John, proposes that his son delays their separation process for forty days and follow a procedure called “The Love Dare” to make them love each other again. – Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil”
So what is ‘The Love Dare’ all about?
In the movie, the couple is near their breaking point. The husband and wife are at each other’s throats non-stop, their compatibility is waning, their desire to make their marriage work is failing. The wife, during the midst of a heated argument, indicates that she wants out and can’t keep doing this anymore. She makes her desires clear that she wants a divorce. The husband calls to speak with his parents about what has recently transpired and they try to gather his thoughts about the situation. He isn’t 100% sure that getting a divorce is the best route but has no other suggestions or ideas since his wife has made it very clear that she is done. His father gives him a gift, a book called The Love Dare. His instructions were simple, follow the book, which takes one through a period of 40 days, and only after the book has been gone through fully, then to proceed with the divorce. The husband buys in, only at the urgent bequest of his father.
As he initially begins this journey, he goes into it doubtful, reluctant, and halfheartedly.. The Love Dare is 40 days worth of “dares” that you do for your spouse. Each day there is a scripture, a short write up about the given scripture and point, and then a “dare” to be done for that day. Some dares are easy and some are very difficult, making one spouse push themselves in a way that they may have never done in their marriage before. The husband starts off slow, not really giving his all, and his wife rejects his attempts. The husband many times feels like he wants to give up, that he is giving his all to this “love dare” and it is doing nothing for their marriage. His father urges him to keep pushing forward, to not quit before finishing the full 40 days, even when it seems like it is having no effect. And so, he does. Each day, he tackles another dare, another attempt and effort to learn something new about relationships, marriage, and how to be present in a relationship. The Love Dare not only benefits the one who is the “recipient” of these dares, but also the one who is taking the challenge of doing the dare.
In the end, (spoiler alert) he completes the whole 40 days (and even goes above and beyond!) and has become an entirely different person and husband. The wife truly sees the transformation that has taken place within her husband, sees how sincere he is and how he has put forth such effort to become a better husband, that she is willing to stay with him. The two become stronger as one, and we see them reaffirming their vows at the end of the movie.
I learned so much from this movie. I can’t even quite describe how I felt after watching it. I seriously felt like I grew as a person, grew as a wife. It made me think of my relationship and marriage in a way that I hadn’t thought of it before. It taught me that giving up isn’t an option. That you need to learn to give 150%, and be able to change the way you are at times in order to better your relationship. Marriage is hard, but you have to be willing to do whatever it takes in order to make it succeed. Granted, I felt like I was giving my all to our marriage, but I can see that I really wasn’t. There were things that I could have changed or done differently and maybe that would have helped make the difference, or at least added to the strengthening of our marriage, instead of the breaking down of it. I learned so much vital information just from these two hours. I decided that giving up was not an option. I decided that I want to give 150% and fight for my marriage and to make it a success. So, I decided that I would take the love dare.
I did some research online and happily found that The Love Dare was a real book. After work on Thursday, I went to a book store that I saw had it in stock. I can’t even tell you how excited I was about taking on this ‘dare’. I can’t wait to find out what each day has in store for me, what challenges await me. I fully anticipate that I will learn so much about myself. I think I will grow as a person and will be able to see areas where I really flourish and areas where I really need to work harder. I am truly excited and feel like this love dare will challenge me in ways I never thought I would be challenged, all the while teaching me valuable lessons about myself and my marriage. So, I thought I would share my progress on here. I want to share the lessons I’m learning (or re-learning) and track my progress. I may not blog each day, but for the days I miss, I will have a summation of the days that I have completed. Join me on my 40 day adventure of completing The Love Dare!