Sunday, December 8, 2013 – Day 26: Love is Responsible
God designed the gift of marriage. It has been shown that married people are healthier, happier, live longer, have better sex lives, and make more money. The benefits that come with marriage will depend on how much effort we make to take care of it. It is essential that we learn to take care of our own responsibility in a relationship. It is imperative if our marriage is to be a success, versus a failure.
The more responsibility you have in following through with your roles and vows, the more you will reap the positive benefits. Yet if you choose to let those obligations go, not placing any real significance or importance on them, only pain and division will occur. By acting in wisdom and love, we uphold our responsibilities. Think about whether you are giving your all in your relationship. Do you make the other person carry all of the burden, or do you take the initiative to look for ways to ease their load? If we are acting in love, we look for ways to help them and support them.
Love also draws us to be responsible for our own mistakes. It is all too easy to place blame or be quick to defend our actions and justify what we do. It can be easy to deflect responsibility to our spouse. It is often in our nature to easily find the faults and mistakes of our spouse and be closed off to the idea that we are imperfect and make mistakes as well. However, love does not place the blame or make excuses. It accepts personal responsibility and then seeks for ways to improve.
The next time you’re disagreeing with your spouse about something, listen to what their saying and be humble enough to see if what they’re saying has any validity. Instead of denying or becoming defensive, try humbly listening to their comments and take responsibility for your mistakes. It may be a hard thing to do, but being willing to admit your mistakes and then working towards correcting them is one of the biggest ways of acting in love. It may take time for that repentant heart to settle within you. We all have a measure of pride and it can be hard to take responsibility. Yet you should make it your priority to work on it. If something isn’t right, make it your priority to work toward fixing it.
When you take the initiative to apologize, it is amazing what can change and improve in your relationship. It can open the way for a stronger relationship and open the way for communication. Even if you aren’t the only person at fault or to blame for a situation, take ownership of your fault and what you did to contribute to a negative situation. Don’t wait for your spouse to apologize for their wrong first. In order to do this, you must swallow your pride and ask for their forgiveness. This can be one of the hardest things to do, but it is absolutely crucial in order to have a strong and lasting relationship.
Dare for day 26:
It can often be a hard thing to do, to ask for forgiveness. The asking of forgiveness is synonymous with admitting you are wrong or at fault for something. Yet, it is absolutely imperative in a successful relationship. I have seen firsthand just how huge of a change can result from taking the initiative to apologize and say sorry for something. When Scott and I were on our trip, we had a bit of a misunderstanding. Both of us handled the situation wrong. Yet I took the first step to admit I had acted wrongly and asked for his forgiveness. That opened up the door for him to apologize for his contribution to the problem and smoothed everything over. It was a small gesture but it made a world of difference. So much so that he still, almost two weeks later, mentions how he appreciated me taking that first step.
Day 26 down, 14 to go!