I think all of the posts I’ve been doing as part of the 50-day binge free challenge which I started doing could qualify for random ‘Thinking Out Loud’ posts, but I thought I’d link up with Amanda today since it’s Thursday.
The thought for day 6 is: Do you have any fear foods? If so, post a picture of them here. Yep, have the picture on your blog and try to stop being scared of these foods.
I don’t know if I have any particular “fear” foods. I do, however, have a “safe” food list…or the foods that I can eat with no problem and without second thought, while all other foods cause me to pause and evaluate. Any sweets of any kind, especially baked goods, are foods that I stay as far away from as possible, during the course of any given day. I don’t eat sweets during the day, but come night-time when a binge happens, I am clawing through the pantry and fridge looking for anything that has sugar in it. Anything. I know I struggle with other foods that aren’t on my “safe-list”, which would be far too numerous to even begin to start listing…and I think part of me is happy that I have sensitivities to certain foods because of my IBS, which gives me a valid excuse to not have foods that I’m not comfortable with. It’s sad when you start to find happiness over limitations in your diet due to your health and what reactions it brings about.
I know that I need to learn to branch out and try new foods, I know that increasing my intake during the day is imperative for me to work on breaking the binge-cycle, but it’s so hard for me to do so. I get comfortable, lax, and don’t feel the desire to push myself, so I don’t. But I know that I have no other choice now. If I really want to get better, and beat this exhausting cycle, I need to start stepping up and pushing myself to try new foods and increase the amount I eat during the day. Otherwise, my night-time binging is bound to continue indefinitely.
I am hopeful that I can start taking control, maybe reaching out to others (in my personal world) to get some strength, support, and accountability. Sadly, I don’t know if I have what it takes to do it all on my own without support from others. I’ll keep trying, day after day, until I get this right. If it’s one thing I have learned, no matter how many bad days I have, or how little effort I feel I’m putting forth each day to make a change, I know that I do want to improve and continue trying. As long as I have that mentality, there is hope.