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The orange

02 May

You guys, this morning I ate an ORANGE! Okay, let me back up a bit…I know this probably doesn’t seem like something worth noting, but it is a huge conquest for me! First of all, I binged last night, and instead of feeling sorry for myself and telling myself to give up, I decided to push myself today. To pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep trying. This week has been a pretty crappy one as far as keeping my spirits up and not feeling defeated (I blame part of that on the dark, gloomy, rainy, dreary weather we’ve had here for over a week now!) But this morning, I was able to pull myself together and feel pretty positive despite it all.

A second reason why eating an orange is an extremely awesome accomplishment for me is because I have a small list of foods that are “acceptable” and that I let myself eat, and I eat the same things on a daily basis. It’s a hard thing for me to add new foods that I don’t normally eat…because they’re “unsafe” or not on my “approved” list. I saw an orange sitting on our kitchen counter at home. We usually don’t have oranges around the house because as I said they are 1) not on my “approved” list and 2) the hubby doesn’t eat them regularly. But, he got a few this week from his mom and he brought them home with him. So, I grabbed the orange and threw it in my bag to take to work. This alone isn’t that great of a feat. Oftentimes I will grab something I plan on eating or hope to eat, and then it makes itself back home uneaten. But this morning, I looked in my bag, saw that big orange and decided it sounded good and I wanted it! It was the most delicious thing I have had in so long. So sweet and juicy, and I think it tasted even better because it was a challenge for me!

You guys, I can’t properly express this to you, but this orange made me feel so good. It wasn’t the fruit, per se, but the action that made the difference. In that moment, I chose to fight for my recovery. In that moment, I chose to silence all those negative, eating disorder thoughts in my head, and made a choice for Elise. Yes, it is just one small step, one small change…but it’s a pretty huge hurdle and I count it as a major victory for the day. See, the more I conquer these single, individual “steps”, the more my confidence will build. I can’t wait to continue to build my momentum and keep chugging along in recovery!

CAM02098

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12 Comments

Posted by on May 2, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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12 responses to “The orange

  1. Kristin

    May 2, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    Yaaaay for you!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!!

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      May 3, 2014 at 4:34 am

      Kristin thank you so much! Your support and encouragement mean so much to me!

       
      • Kristin

        May 3, 2014 at 7:43 pm

        Awww!!!!

         
  2. Christine#

    May 3, 2014 at 1:05 am

    So proud of you! I know it’s just an orange (like you said), but it stands for so much more! These little victories will eventually add up to big life changes. Keep up the great work! I honestly love clicking over to read Little Miss Fit since you have such a wonderful way with words and I love your strong resolution to recover.

    Hahah okay, I’ll stop being all mushy ;). Have a great weekend, lovely!

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      May 3, 2014 at 4:35 am

      Christine, you are so sweet. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. You have such a big heart (and it’s that much more prominent if it can be detected over the computer!!) Thanks for always cheering me on!

      Enjoy your weekend 😀

       
  3. abstemious2eternity

    May 3, 2014 at 1:41 am

    Congratulations! And I’m so proud of you.

     
  4. princessbunnycakes

    May 3, 2014 at 4:13 am

    Yay! I’m happy for you and your tasty food adventures. It’s wonderful to see food as something that can be appreciated and savored but not absued.

    My excitement is totally biased though, as I LOVE oranges! Sometimes I avoid them because they’re super messy (aka I’M super messy), but even Safeway oranges have been AMAZING these days.

    I hope you have many more positive steps and oranges in your future. 🙂

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      May 3, 2014 at 4:37 am

      Thanks, girl! I know what you mean about oranges being messy! Fortunately this one wasn’t TOO juicy since I ate it at my desk at work! 😀

       
  5. bhcrum

    May 4, 2014 at 2:43 am

    That is amazing! Congratulations! Sometimes the actions themselves reward us with the best feeling! Keep it up, I’m cheering for you!

     
  6. Miss Polkadot

    May 8, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    I’m super late in reading this but I still wanted to say it: Congratulations on making this step! Don’t let your ED or anybody around tell you this wasn’t anything mention-worthy. Every little step counts and keeps us going. Trust me, I’ve gone a million baby steps and even if they didn’t look like much in the first place each of them helped shift my mindset a little. I still have a long way to go, too, and it’s reminding myself of and writing down the little achievements [like eating a white, non-whole grain tortilla] that keeps me believing in myself.
    You’re doing so well and should be proud of yourself.

     
    • Little Miss Fit

      May 9, 2014 at 3:17 am

      Aw thank you so much for sharing that with me. You are so right! I think the more little steps that I take, the greater my confidence will build and I will continue to be able to make bigger steps. I’m super happy for you to hear that you keep pushing forward too! Way to go, girl! 😀

       

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